What ‘Indian Matchmaking’ gets wrong — and right

The grapevine was abuzz in Anand’s extended family in New Delhi. They speculated that having lost his job in New York, Anand had moved to Mumbai temporarily, at least until his career path in the United States would be on the “right” track again. After all, why would U. What’s up? Anand is part of a small but growing number of second-generation immigrants who are moving or considering moving to their parents’ native countries for professional and personal reasons. Studies suggest that the emerging economies of the parents’ homeland may encourage the children to make an economic investment there. In addition, many among them want to learn more about their parental homeland, ethnicity, and heritage. The data presented here are drawn from a larger qualitative study on the ‘return’ of high-skilled, second-generation Indian Americans from the United States to India.

Digital disruption: Arranged marriages adapt for Indian-Americans

Philip and Pratibha — celebrating two cultures. Y oung Indians growing up in America are finding love and marriage in a myriad ways that their immigrant parents could never have imagined. When their parents first came to America, it was as couples in an arranged marriage; if a man came as a student to the US, soon enough he would go back for a trip to the homeland and come back bundled with a family-approved wife to look after him in the new country.

In pretty much every respect, he was just as Americanized as the generation of Indian Americans I grew up with. In his slightly rolling accent.

Generally, parents facilitate talks and perhaps even take decisions. This traditional system seems to work given that divorce rates in India are among the lowest in the world , albeit some argue it is problematic. But with the proliferation of dating apps and evolution of matrimoniall websites, the concept of arranged marriage is changing. The bride and groom are often able to take the reins, so coercion is lower and efficacy, higher.

However, when an Indian wants to meet another Indian outside the country, the search can be tough. Cue Dil Mil. Last week, Dating. Already, Dil Mil has led to over 20 million matches and averages at least one marriage per day. The app complements Dating. By , seven in 10 people are expected to meet through dating apps, Dating. The Indian diaspora is the largest in the world , at 30 million, and naturally, it will partake in the trend.

Being a Second-Generation Immigrant and the Privilege of Pettiness

This article examines how second-generation Patel women and men navigate dating in the context of their bicultural identities as Indian-Americans, and the gender structures of the Patel community in Florida. Rather, Patel women and men have reconceptualized dating in a manner that appeals to their identities as Indian-Americans. Accordingly, dating for them is not only a means of exploring their preferences in intimate partnering, but must necessarily have an end goal binding it – namely marriage.

Gender structures within the Patel community create differential dating experiences for Patel women and men. In response, Patel women and men have devised strategies in their dating behaviors evinced in their partner selections, age at onset of dating, their employing of secrecy in dating, and utilizing particular semantics of dating.

interplay of bicultural identity and gender with dating among second-generation Patels in. Florida. Indian/Patel-American bicultural identity as constructed and.

Basra fields fairly low-key evenings, save for one. Her date with a guy named Justin turns viral when he launches a sustained attack against her, based, it seems, on the fact of her divorce. You lied to him, and yourself … How could I ever trust you? How could anyone ever trust you? Spoiler alert: Basra also winds up the only contestant who picks no one, another factor in her online popularity. Watching the clip, I focused more on Basra than on Justin.

Such features make Basra and I members of a small club.

Immigrant Children

Recently I read a not-so-positive article about dating a brown girl in a white country on this very website. The author clearly had bad experiences with second generation Indian girls living abroad and it got me thinking.. Second generation kids of most ethnicities harbor some sort of aversion towards their first generation peers.

This approach to second-generation Indian American Hinduism underlines the persistence of Hinduism even when it is not Print publication date:

In , Buzzfeed writer Scaachi Koul tweeted a call for pitches from non-white and non-male writers, which subsequently went viral, naturally led to a barrage of rape and death threats, and ultimately, drove her off Twitter for a bit. While that experience is enough for most people to swear off being a brown woman on the internet for good, it only made Scaachi more determined to be a vocal advocate for people of color in media.

As a second-generation Indian-Canadian, Scaachi tackles universally relatable topics like puberty, dating, and all those horrible things, but with the added layer of navigating white spaces as a brown woman. She sat down with Broadly to talk about the experience of being an immigrant kid, body hair, and colorism. Broadly: Your book was incredibly relatable in a way that I haven’t really seen beyond one off personal essays.

What made you want to write this memoir or these essays the way that you did?

“Family Karma” Might Be a Breakthrough for Desis on TV

Growing up as a first-generation Indian-American in a football-centric, blond-highlighted community in the Midwest, it took a while for me to understand my relationship to my culture. It was certainly different from the way it was depicted on TV. So you can imagine how thrilling it was to see the breakthrough of Aziz Ansari, a person who is proud of being Indian-American and who actively tries to develop a genuine understanding of his identity.

And he, like the rest of us, struggles with it from time to time.

Indian youth of the generation view their place in “American society”? Through youth part of the ‘second’ generation of children who are born in the U.S., and for whom the their homework or date white boy and girls.

After sitting through hour after hour of speed dating seminars and potential matches, Pooja Pendharkar finishes her first day at an Indian Matchmaking conference in northern New Jersey. She strolls out of the last seminar, exhausted from listening to redundant speeches about just how important finding the right partner is. For Pendharkar, the conference means little more than an attempt to appease her parents in response to their marriage inquiries. Being single at the age of 30, Pendharkar is well beyond the average marital age for an Indian woman.

However for her parents and the generation prior, the changing landscape of marriage as well as arranged marriage is troubling. There is no procedure, no decorum, and no etiquette.

For Love and Money: Second-generation Indian Americans ‘Return’ to India

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Dating and marriage, a universal source of parent-child friction, can be especially shaky in the homes of Indian-Americans, as U.S.-raised children of immigrant.

As I sat in stony silence across from that poor man, I wondered why I had responded the way I did. After all, I was just coming from the wedding of a bride and groom who met at a regional youth convention that we all know is just a marriage market by another name, and only few months before another friend had gotten married after her parents set the ball in motion.

I obviously knew then from my own first-hand experience that arranged marriage is a lot more complicated than parents sending their child back to India to get married and that indeed, arranged marriage in one or another of its infinite variety of forms happens all the time. This paper is my effort to understand just this problematic. It appears that my “psychosis” regarding the question of arranged marriage is not only a personal problem, but rather that the trope of arranged marriage haunts the creative output of a large cross-section of Indian American youth.

For instance, in the last decade or so, a spate of Indian American cultural products literature, films, music have interrogated the diasporic identities of “1. Significantly, a number of these works employ either centrally or peripherally a caricatured version of arranged marriage as the locus for their representation of Indian American identity-formation. If we agree that any productive engagement with the question of arranged marriage must necessarily acknowledge its complex and varied character, and that furthermore, compliance with or resistance to heteronormatively-defined arranged marriage should not sum up the totality of Indian American identity, how then do we understand the pervasiveness of arranged marriage as a trope of cultural and generational conflict?

In this paper, I will argue that Indian Americans are interpellated by a “regime of representation” that encompasses the images of Indianness produced by strains of US and Indian popular culture. If, in the words of Stuart Hall, the meanings of arranged marriage “float” so widely, how is it that these representational paradigms attempt to “fix” what is signified by the term? It is my hope that an investigation of this issue will show how this fixing produces stereotypes that are then used as emblems for diasporic Indian selfhood, and that what is at stake here is nothing less than control over female sexuality in the service of a hegemonic definition of cultural identity.

Finally, through an examination of the Indian American film, ABCD American Born Confused Desi , I will analyze the process by which second-generation Indian Americans generate self-definitions that often remain bounded by this representational matrix, and in so doing often replicate the fixation on arranged marriage as an overarching signifier of diasporic identity. Skip to main content. Email Facebook Twitter.

Indians in America Part – 2


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